Sassy ASMR luxury skincare routine performed by a cat (Seedance 2.0)

CAMERA / LOOK: Propped iPhone/Mini DV camcorder footage on a sleek vanity mirror stand. Soft diffuse lighting, delicate lens flare, gentle zoom adjustments, subtle tape grain, polished high-end aesthetic. STYLE: High-maintenance luxury beauty/skincare routine with sassy, condescending ASMR elements. Paws delicately patting bottles, slow blinks, arrogant pauses. SUBJECT: Fluffy white Persian cat with a flat smushed face, emerald green eyes, wearing a tiny silk hair wrap. Smug, unimpressed expression, regal demeanor. SETTING: Marble bathroom vanity with expensive serum glass bottles, jade roller, plush velvet towel, warm vanity light bulbs. STORYBOARD: → (2s, medium shot) Adjusts camera angle with one claw. "Good morning to everyone except my human who woke me up 3 minutes early." → (1.5s, detail shot) Taps a glass serum bottle with front paw. Crisp clinking glass ASMR sound. → (1.5s, close-up) Slowly pushes serum bottle off the counter while maintaining eye contact with camera. Loud shatter/thud sound below. "Oops. Gravity works. Moving on." → (2s, detail macro shot) Softly licks back of paw and wipes ear in slow motion. Soft grooming ASMR sound. → (1.5s, close-up) Gazes into mirror, tilting head. "Skin is glowing, pores are non-existent. You're welcome." → (1.5s, medium handheld shot) Uses jade roller on forehead using tiny paw. "Reducing puffiness from sleeping 18 hours instead of 19." → (1.5s, macro detail shot) Sniffs a tub of catnip cream, letting out a delicate sneezed 'achoo'. → (1.5s, medium shot) Sits tall, smoothing chest fur with arrogant posture. "If you can't afford this routine, just say that." → (1s, ending shot) Slow blinks condescendingly into lens. "Don't forget to subscribe. Or don't. I don't care." → (1s, final shot) Swats camera violently off vanity counter. Video cuts to static grid. AUDIO NOTES: Glass bottle clinking, soft licking/grooming sounds, heavy purring sub-bass, arrogant posh voice with refined lip movements. REALISM & COMEDY NOTES: Photorealistic white Persian fur physics, subtle whisker twitches, natural cat slow-blinks, hysterical condescending tone paired with classic cat chaotic behavior (knocking things off tables).