Editorial Cartoon Generator (SQL-style)

Prompt: 2x2 grid, 16:9, do this for 4 different relevant topics that have been in the news, do research: WITH topic_model AS ( SELECT infer_primary_symbol([TOPIC]) AS subject, infer_core_emotion([TOPIC]) AS mood, infer_best_context([TOPIC]) AS setting, infer_caption_logic([TOPIC]) AS caption, infer_visual_tone([TOPIC]) AS style ), scene_layer AS ( SELECT anthropomorphize(subject, mood) AS character_design, build_environment(setting) AS environment_design, infer_supporting_props([TOPIC]) AS props FROM topic_model ) SELECT cartoon_render FROM viral_editorial_cartoon_space WHERE main_subject = topic_model.subject AND emotional_readability = 'high' AND satire_mode = 'observational' AND caption_style = 'short_deadpan' AND environment_support = 'strong' AND render_style = 'comic illustration' ORDER BY symbolic_clarity DESC, humor_efficiency DESC, meme_shareability DESC, topical_relevance DESC LIMIT 1;